VIDEO: A Dad’s Guide To Brunching With Toddlers

dads who brunch

The key is to sit as far away from the general population as possible and order a drink and a basket of bread en route to the table.

-Olly & Drummond, dropping some WISDOM BOMBS

But we’re still cool right!??!

The thought most parents tell themselves when they first have kids. You brunched in your pre-kids years and you will brunch NOW…(AND IT WILL BE FUN GODDAMMIT) in the kid era.

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The good news for city parents is brunching with the babies is common, there are typically ten options within walking distance from where you live and most restaurants (especially in Brooklyn) are really accommodating for families. Read: if your kid is screaming no one even looks because BEEN THERE! Not every city has an all encompassing brunch and baby culture, but the key is to find your hang spots, tip well, apologize often, tell your kid to say thank you all the time and even get on the floor at the end of a brunch in an effort to clean up. We swear, you do all those things and it’s amazing how quickly the next time the staff will actually be excited to see you and your scary gang of little humans push open those doors on a crowded Sunday.

One cold Saturday, Citykin dads Drummond and Olly ventured out to one of their favorite local spots, Building on Bond. They came, they ate away from people, they chugged beer fast, they ordered pancakes (DUH) and they probably didn’t relax for more than 5 minutes. But as we like to say at Citykin, practice makes perfect and the more kids go out to eat, the better and sooner they will become perfect little dining snobs wondering why table 8 just can’t STOP CRYING?

TIPS TO KEEP SANITY AND DRINK A BLOODY MARY

  1. Now is not the time to try that new, trendy brunch spot. You’re insane but not THAT insane. Pick a place a block or two from home in case you need a QUICK exit.

  2. Ask to be sat AWAY from the general population. The general population will thank you and you will be able to relax more.

  3. Diaper bag, diaper bag, diaper bag. Don’t leave home without it. Make sure you have diapers. Seems so simple right…

4. If you have more than one kid, OUTSOURCE. To the older child that is. All the successful people in business say to outsource so we’re just taking notes.

5. Order the bread basket STAT. Preferably while you’re talking to the host.

6. Order your drink STAT. Preferably AFTER the bread basket but before water.

7. Ask to keep the stroller at the table if it can be tucked under the table and you have a baby.

8. Be open-minded to all seating arrangements. You will probably switch seats a few times. Embrace the spontaneity!

9. Just order pancakes. Even if the kids say they don’t want them. Just order a stack for the table. Trust us.

10. You are on borrowed time. Always always remember that. No dawdling and be comfortable chugging. No one is judging….we don’t think at least.